Excuse me while I climb up on my soapbox...

"Dearly Beloved,


We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Questionable Business Practices and The Lining of "Fat-Cat" Pants. What a wonderful, joyous occassion this is. You see, for years they lived in the veil of the shadows of sin...Keeping their relationship secret and hidden. Now, they have joined in (im)perfect union -free to be seen everywhere together. "

That's how the wedding of the millenium began. The bride wore a exquisite gown made from the sweat of the brow of Everyman and the groom wore a stunning coat of illusion - with very deep pockets, of course. (Goodness, me. I'm still misty-eyed!)

They were accompanied by their here-to-for previously illegitimate children:
Sky-Rocketing Gas Prices, Theivery at the Check-out and Corporate Jobs Outsourcing. The children say they are thrilled at the coming-together of their parents as one and have stated that they have never felt so fruitful and prosperous as they do now.

Theivery at the Check-out mentioned, "I'm just delighted! Overnight we went from outrage at missing a burrito from your order at Taco Bell to fully expecting it!!" Sky-Rocketing Gas Prices brought his fiance, Record-Setting Foreclosures, and told everyone who would listen, "We're in love. The Economy is supporting us greatly! We're hoping to carry on in true "Fat-Cat Pants style. I just try to keep going as high as I can and she just gets more and more successful ." Corporate Jobs Outsourcing, still miffed at the lack of attention received for her own merits, had very little to say other than, "I think it's great that their married now. " (Don't tell anyone, but I saw her ogling Rapidly-Rising Unemployement Rates at the juice bar!)

The family, as you know, has moved from Hidden-Tax Laws Acres to In-Your-Face, Middle America. They plan on removing all ties from their extendend family: Small-Business Owner, Ethics in Business and Made in the USA.