What was I thinking?!?!

Ok, so it's been awhile since I posted and mainly it's because what little brain I do have has been swallowed up. Would that it were a giant fish; I might be inclined to just tickle his tonsils and have myself expelled. As it stands - what I'm in is up to my neck in guppies and how to deal with them.

I'm in the process of realizing just how much I have to learn about my new endeavor, how much the previous school-ers of fish knew about the endeavor and how big the pond is that I've been called to fill. It's humbling and humiliating at the same time. Ugh.

The fact of the matter is, I think that I have no idea how this is all supposed to work. I'm short-staffed (in my opinion) for an upcoming Wednesday morning program, running a skeleton crew for one of the years biggest events, and everyday being asked questions about things I never even imagined - forget about even having any suitable answers for them. (In other words, I'm low on bait, my pole's too short and I don't know what to do when the bobber dips.)

Then...I pulled a brilliant move and scheduled a training session the day before we start the Wednesday program AND the day after. Now, I've got two "big events" in the same week and I did it to myself. Ugh x's 2.

I've cold feet. There. I said it. I know people talk and love to do so. I'm nervous I'll be rich fodder for the gossip-mill. I'm concerned about the following things:

*They (being people/volunteers) are going to talk about how lame my meeting was and that I'll be under-prepared and miss things that everyone needs.
*They (being people/parents) will complain to the office about how stupidly run the Wednesday program is and that I will have to do most everything by myself.
*That I'll forget "THE" most important factor (if you know what that is, please let me know).
*That the people telling me, "Don't stress. You're doing a great job." are just saying that because they don't want to do it anymore.
*That everyone (yes, even you) will compare and contrast me against the last school-er of guppies - with me ending up at the bottom of the pond.
*That I'll be asked to leave before I even get through one thing.
*That I'm going to fail miserably.

I know part of this is because the same person who told me Sunday, about my new position, "congratulations...I guess." stopped by the office today and reminded me, "You're the one who chose to do this." (In case you were wondering, my clever replies to his comments were, "Um. Don't congratulate me, yet. I haven't done anything." and "Um. Actually I was called to do it. I just chose to say yes to it.")

Now, I know this person has never been one of my biggest fans - hence all the "ums" present in my vocabulary. But it got me to thinking anyway...and from past experience that's never a good thing.

It's Another Day in Montgomery and I just have to ask:
Can I do this? Will I be able to get through this without messing up God's plan? Is it God's plan for me to mess up? Will my next blog be from the bottom of the pond, shriveled and stinking like the used bait I feel like?